Ode to the Bubble Burster

Everyone has one. I am surrounded by them. You know this person – they are the kind that verbally high fives you then frequently changes there mind. You are an exceptional star and then you are not exceeding your potential. Right now millions of bubbles are being shot down in America. It could be happening to you at your local grocery store, sitting at your desk at work, and sometimes these bursters show up at your door. It’s really an unfortunate phenomenon. But the cure is simple my friends – just keep on creating new ones – one bubble at a time while chanting the word “FUCKER” in your head. I’ve mastered the antidote and now I am passing on the good word.

YES WE CAN

No matter which party you side with – The United States of America made a historical leap tonight. The election results were a thunderous cry for a country’s change. “Yes We Can” was heard around the world as Obama made his speech, and although the cynic in me knows some behind-the-scenes great political writer was the reason for the eloquent speech, part of me really believed the man who spoke the words. As my emotions soared on the amazing historical moment taking place, I started wondering: What if a politician really meant the words he spoke? But better yet, what if the country believed he did? If we believed in change- could we create it? I have always believed our country needed an inspirational symbol; a leader who would remind us “Yes We Can” when we needed it most. This Individual could perhaps create awareness, a collaboration of hope for our future, and help Americans transform a new part of history. A President, A symbol, and a motivational speaker, reminds us we are the masses, and we can and should stand up and be heard. We are aware our struggle ahead is great and our country is in need of change, but if we become that change and truly listen, involve, and speak up great things can materialize. One thing is clear to both Republicans and Democrats alike - a new icon will reside in the White House. He says “Yes We Can” and cynicism aside my fellow Americans I believe we can.

My Little Pony

I love my new car! More to come...

Happy Birthday Dad

My dad's birthday today is on my mind, so I thought if I said something it would get out of my head. So there it is. Happy Birthday Dad.

I love Mondays

Did she actually say that? Yes. Yes i did!! I absolutely love coming to work and starting off my week. The owner of MDS Architect has moved me to JM2 Investment Properties to help start out this new company that has quite honestly - just taken off. As you know I love Real Estate so this is a wonderful plus for me! Have you seen flip this house on TLC? Thats what I get to do.. including picking out fixtures for the houses we buy!! I love my job!!!! How often can people really say that? I know I am bragging.. but I feel so blessed!

My Apologies

Like a snail I hide in my shell when the world becomes too much. I have noticed that more often then not, when wounded, in my shell is where you will find me. I hide from those that remind me of what exactly I am avoiding. I then become guilty I am hiding and then beat myself up about it. I’m coming clean from this flaw and going to try to make an effort to release myself from the guilt (spoken like a true psychologist eh?)

What am I hiding from and why? Seeing my brother in pictures with his little girl make me sad because they remind my of my father and I. Seeing how wonderful my uncle is with his two kids hurt me in a way I was unable to recognize or afraid to. Seeing my mother reminds me that my father is missing. It’s ridiculous, but I realized it is what I avoid because some days the pain of what I wont have, don’t have, and will never have is better left unfelt. I apologize to those who I love and distance myself from.

I didn’t realize I was doing it until I saw a picture of my brother holding his daughter on his lap and I remembered a very similar picture of years long ago. For a moment I hated everything that picture captured and then a wave of guilt flooded down my cheeks like a much-needed release. I knew in an instant what I had been doing. I’m not busy (an excuse I often use) I am afraid. Scared of seeing love given freely and unconditionally between father and child … because then this wounded child will see what she is missing.
Coward no more. I am sorry and I love you all!

Photo's in a Box

I came across a photo of you in a musty box that smelled of memories from a long time ago and it made me smile. It made me wonder what my birth might have cost you and if the life you thought you'd have was changed. A marriage. A home. A love. Gone. A little girl wrapped in a pink blanket changed it all. Its been over a year since I last talked to you and I wonder what you might be doing now. In the photo father and daughter looked so content and now... there is a nothingness only empty shelves can hug. I just had to tell you somehow I missed you because now there is just a silence... a quieter bitterness of hurt. I miss you dad - some days more then others. Today I wonder... will there ever be a tomorrow when I see you again? What if the last time I hugged you 3 years ago leaving Utah was the last time I will ever hug you again or tell you I love you? Will all this silence matter when one of us is gone from this earth? Sometimes I tell myself I should have hugged you longer that day. I should have told you - indifference from you was my greatest fear. It would not have mattered. The mind sometimes has a hard time letting go and walking away.