Sunday, July 27, 2008

Photo's in a Box

I came across a photo of you in a musty box that smelled of memories from a long time ago and it made me smile. It made me wonder what my birth might have cost you and if the life you thought you'd have was changed. A marriage. A home. A love. Gone. A little girl wrapped in a pink blanket changed it all. Its been over a year since I last talked to you and I wonder what you might be doing now. In the photo father and daughter looked so content and now... there is a nothingness only empty shelves can hug. I just had to tell you somehow I missed you because now there is just a silence... a quieter bitterness of hurt. I miss you dad - some days more then others. Today I wonder... will there ever be a tomorrow when I see you again? What if the last time I hugged you 3 years ago leaving Utah was the last time I will ever hug you again or tell you I love you? Will all this silence matter when one of us is gone from this earth? Sometimes I tell myself I should have hugged you longer that day. I should have told you - indifference from you was my greatest fear. It would not have mattered. The mind sometimes has a hard time letting go and walking away.

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