Silver Paper and a Bow

Call me 'It's a Wonderful Life' girl - but sometimes the greatest Christmas gifts couldnt be wrapped in silver with a bow. They can't be placed under a tree nor fit in any sized box.

The best gift is when anger melts like the end of snow and the stillness of just letting go is the loudness noise for miles. Left to hold cupped in your tiny hands is hope. A hope for something bigger then you and a silent prayer that somehow someone out there wishes along side you. Smiling to yourself on your own front porch you realize nothing compares to the reality of living and enjoying the ride.

Silver lining and a bow wrapped up in just... being. Being Alive.

Ode to the Bubble Burster

Everyone has one. I am surrounded by them. You know this person – they are the kind that verbally high fives you then frequently changes there mind. You are an exceptional star and then you are not exceeding your potential. Right now millions of bubbles are being shot down in America. It could be happening to you at your local grocery store, sitting at your desk at work, and sometimes these bursters show up at your door. It’s really an unfortunate phenomenon. But the cure is simple my friends – just keep on creating new ones – one bubble at a time while chanting the word “FUCKER” in your head. I’ve mastered the antidote and now I am passing on the good word.

YES WE CAN

No matter which party you side with – The United States of America made a historical leap tonight. The election results were a thunderous cry for a country’s change. “Yes We Can” was heard around the world as Obama made his speech, and although the cynic in me knows some behind-the-scenes great political writer was the reason for the eloquent speech, part of me really believed the man who spoke the words. As my emotions soared on the amazing historical moment taking place, I started wondering: What if a politician really meant the words he spoke? But better yet, what if the country believed he did? If we believed in change- could we create it? I have always believed our country needed an inspirational symbol; a leader who would remind us “Yes We Can” when we needed it most. This Individual could perhaps create awareness, a collaboration of hope for our future, and help Americans transform a new part of history. A President, A symbol, and a motivational speaker, reminds us we are the masses, and we can and should stand up and be heard. We are aware our struggle ahead is great and our country is in need of change, but if we become that change and truly listen, involve, and speak up great things can materialize. One thing is clear to both Republicans and Democrats alike - a new icon will reside in the White House. He says “Yes We Can” and cynicism aside my fellow Americans I believe we can.

My Little Pony

I love my new car! More to come...

Happy Birthday Dad

My dad's birthday today is on my mind, so I thought if I said something it would get out of my head. So there it is. Happy Birthday Dad.

I love Mondays

Did she actually say that? Yes. Yes i did!! I absolutely love coming to work and starting off my week. The owner of MDS Architect has moved me to JM2 Investment Properties to help start out this new company that has quite honestly - just taken off. As you know I love Real Estate so this is a wonderful plus for me! Have you seen flip this house on TLC? Thats what I get to do.. including picking out fixtures for the houses we buy!! I love my job!!!! How often can people really say that? I know I am bragging.. but I feel so blessed!

My Apologies

Like a snail I hide in my shell when the world becomes too much. I have noticed that more often then not, when wounded, in my shell is where you will find me. I hide from those that remind me of what exactly I am avoiding. I then become guilty I am hiding and then beat myself up about it. I’m coming clean from this flaw and going to try to make an effort to release myself from the guilt (spoken like a true psychologist eh?)

What am I hiding from and why? Seeing my brother in pictures with his little girl make me sad because they remind my of my father and I. Seeing how wonderful my uncle is with his two kids hurt me in a way I was unable to recognize or afraid to. Seeing my mother reminds me that my father is missing. It’s ridiculous, but I realized it is what I avoid because some days the pain of what I wont have, don’t have, and will never have is better left unfelt. I apologize to those who I love and distance myself from.

I didn’t realize I was doing it until I saw a picture of my brother holding his daughter on his lap and I remembered a very similar picture of years long ago. For a moment I hated everything that picture captured and then a wave of guilt flooded down my cheeks like a much-needed release. I knew in an instant what I had been doing. I’m not busy (an excuse I often use) I am afraid. Scared of seeing love given freely and unconditionally between father and child … because then this wounded child will see what she is missing.
Coward no more. I am sorry and I love you all!

Photo's in a Box

I came across a photo of you in a musty box that smelled of memories from a long time ago and it made me smile. It made me wonder what my birth might have cost you and if the life you thought you'd have was changed. A marriage. A home. A love. Gone. A little girl wrapped in a pink blanket changed it all. Its been over a year since I last talked to you and I wonder what you might be doing now. In the photo father and daughter looked so content and now... there is a nothingness only empty shelves can hug. I just had to tell you somehow I missed you because now there is just a silence... a quieter bitterness of hurt. I miss you dad - some days more then others. Today I wonder... will there ever be a tomorrow when I see you again? What if the last time I hugged you 3 years ago leaving Utah was the last time I will ever hug you again or tell you I love you? Will all this silence matter when one of us is gone from this earth? Sometimes I tell myself I should have hugged you longer that day. I should have told you - indifference from you was my greatest fear. It would not have mattered. The mind sometimes has a hard time letting go and walking away.

Losing the Battle with Sense of Urgency

There is a time and a place for a leisurely walk and I’ll admit I sometimes like to drift down a hiking trial in a somewhat state of a oblivion. However, it seems like I find myself struggling when I go anywhere not to stick my head out the window and scream “Move it Buddy!!” or “TaTaToday Junior” (One of my favorite lines from the movie Billy Madison)

The other day this gentleman was walking in a shopping center parking lot just gliding around in a state of what seemed like a medical induced stupor. If someone gave him a pair of ice skates I swear he could win a gold metal at the Olympics with his unique ability to put on a show. He was completely without any direction and oblivious to the fact that five cars were waiting for him to move out of the middle of the road. This walking coma stunned me when he stopped and took time to just reflect on his life.

Sometimes a little sense of urgency is the decent thing to do. How about glancing around and seeing if you might be in the way and moving? Don’t take the "I have the Right of Way pedestrian" crap so far. Yes, jackass we have to wait for you, but you have the wrong person behind you and the irritation might overwhelm them and the could ever so gently step on the gas...

Of course I wouldn’t do that… but admittedly I thought about it for a split second.

Clarification

Apparently, some people seem to think this blog is intended to document the day to day life of my dog! This now has me in a fit of giggles! Let’s face it – the day to day on goings of a dog’s life would make a very boring blog: played with squeaky toy, drank water, ate food, slept and repeated. HA! No people! This is not what you will read here, so choke back those yawns right now!

I feel the need to Clarify – This blog is about my life... perhaps tid bits of Roxy because she is a positive beautiful part of my life. I look at Roxy and I see the world differently. No matter how south life is going, or how negative I’m feeling – Roxy is the permanent symbol reminding me with her playful loving nature to not take life quite so seriously. My hope is that this blog has a ‘Roxy spin on life’… even when the ‘Marissa spin’ feels like pulling up the covers and sleeping for a few years. Because, dear readers.. Roxy would never do that… everyday is way to exciting! Jump off the bed, wag your butt, kiss your mommy, and outside to smell the perimeter of the yard and make your mark on the world (or on the roses, fence, or the garden rake).

In a nutshell, my dog inspires me… I can think of worse things then that!

Roxy vs Lawn Mower Man

We don’t like the gardeners! In fact, we more then dislike them - so much so - that we jump over the baby gates, and run around in circles screaming like a banshee by the front door. Barking to let them know just what we think of them! Yes, every Wednesday this is my life. Little Roxy Anne girl jumps over the baby gate which allows her all of the kitchen, laundry room and the family room. A doggie apartment palace if you ask me, but to her (as she nips and barks as you put the baby gate up) she thinks the baby gate is quite humiliating and reminds me daily just how much. Back to the point... Why is every Wednesday so delightful? Because the gardener Roxy’s nemesis invades her backyard and sometimes... god forbid our front yard. They have been having this one sided duel for quite sometime.

Yesterday (Wednesday) was hot! 111 degrees of sweltering stifling hazy heat. I was grumpy, tired, and as I pulled into my driveway I hear the banshee shrieking. My front door is one of those windows with the glass middle which allows you to be able to see inside. I love these doors they are so beautiful, but for privacy sake not very practical. Practicality aside, being able to see inside my house on this particular day was what prompted me to write this silly little blog.

Looking inside my impractical front door - I see a very disgruntled yorkie bounding downstairs growling and barking in a complete outrageous fit… with a strand of toilette paper wrapped around her tiny head. Her ears were up in a fierce pose and she her stance was ready to attack in case the perpetrators were to enter her domain and the ridiculous toilet paper killed her otherwise ferocious demeanor. Attacking the toilette paper seems to be part of the process to conquring the lawn enemy. Apparently toilette paper is what one uses as... a sword?!? Humm...

When I opened the front door she took one look at her hot grumpy mommy and ran into the room where she was suppose to be and curled into a ball and layed over. She could tell no matter what the lawn mower man did today - in 111 degree heat dont mess with mom!!

My lil toliette paper princess... God I hate Wednesdays!

Who is Roxy?

What is the 'Grand Adventures of Roxy Anne Girl?!?!?' Let's start by telling you about Roxy and who she is. Roxy is my yorkshire terrier who is more then a 'dog' but rather - my side kick. She inspires me to give unconditional love, to see the simplicity in everyday life, and to make everyday really count. How can a dog do that?! If you have to ask then I suggest you spend sometime with one - not merly in ones presence, but really be with them and watch them. If we watch animals long enough we can learn very valuable life lessons.

The Grand Adventures of Roxy Anne Girl will be a collections of my happenings and my journey and hopefully make others smile, laugh, and cry along with me. To become part of my 'pack' just sit back relax and read our story.